We Need New Fuel
We need to receive from Above the power of faith called “art.” Naturally, we ourselves do not have it. And on this path a person sees how weak he is. It is written that inner work “weakens a person” because he begins to feel that he does not have anything but egoistic desire.
And if he supposedly manages to overcome his egoism, it simply means that a larger egoistic desire has defeated a smaller one. This way, instead of advancing in the direction of spirituality, he is moving in the opposite direction, using an even greater egoism.
Sometimes people are very successful in their studies, they work and study a lot, and you would think that a great force of bestowal is driving them. But this is not the case. This simply is the great force of egoism because they see a greater benefit before them.
We always advance from “Lo Lishma” (for oneself) towards “Lishma” (for the sake of bestowal) and naturally act with the help of our ego. But still, our responsibility is to evaluate our true position and the intentions that drive us.
Gradually, as a person exerts effort in studying, dissemination, and mainly in group work, he reveals how incapable of anything he is. Man realizes his true state when he sees that no matter how much he tries to overcome his ego, putting all his effort into it, he is still incapable of doing anything with himself.
A person spent all his time working for the importance of the goal, but at the end, he lost his strength and realized his evil. He understood that he has nothing but the ego and that his every movement is driven by an egoistic purpose. As a result, he reaches a deep state of despair, described in the following way: “There is no happier moment in a person’s life than the moment when he becomes completely disappointed in his powers and feels absolute helplessness, and thus he becomes ready for a complete prayer.”
And a complete prayer is a request to acquire the power of faith. And then the power of greatness of faith, greatness of the Creator clothes him, and thus a person continues to work, but with another kind of “fuel.”
[60139]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/8/2011, Writings of Rabash
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Dear Rav Laitman I feel as if you wrote this article aspecially for me. It hit me to the very core. I thought I forgot how to cry, but Im still crying like a baby after reading this article over and over. The realization of how evil I am hit me like a train. I’m not sure what it all means, I don’t even know what to think. Is it my ego thinking for me? only the Creator knows I suppose. Thank you for this article even thou I don’t think saying thank you is enough, I pray that the Creator can make some use of me in some way. I’m looking forward to the World Arvut Convention.