Question: It is written that when you lose thought of spirituality, you should give thanks to the Creator. How can we possibly thank Him for that?

Answer: We know that all our work is solely on desire, and except for the right kind of desire, we need nothing else. In order to reveal the property of bestowal, the Creator, we only need to continue preparing ourselves for the next upcoming moment. All we have to do is just decode it correctly: From whom did I receive the sensation of living, and why did it come in the form that it did?

I know nothing about it. However, if I received it from the Light, from the upper force that is leading me toward the purpose of creation, then the only thing required of me is my awareness and the right response. That is, in each of the states I am going through, I have to be able to see Him and His kind attitude toward me, despite the fact that I feel the opposite.

Thus, a discrepancy arises between how I wish to view Him, as good and doing good unto me, and the world I am experiencing right now, which is not that nice and good. That’s where I am given room to work because the difference between what I desire and what is real, between the thought of how it is supposed to be and my present experience, is the foundation for prayer.

If I don’t feel perfection at any given moment, it means that I feel the gap separating me from it—my own inadequacy. Hence, I already know how to move forward since I sense my digression from the course, from the goal.

The right direction is where everything becomes unified: “Israel, the Torah, and the Creator.” That is, the self, the internal meaning of the group and our unity, and the revelation of bestowal in it, all of this together is one whole. If I can’t tie it all together correctly, I view the Creator’s attitude toward me as bad.

In other words, I feel that I’m corrupted and living in a corrupted world. Judging from what the Creator gave me, I discover that He is not good who does good, and I am not living in the world of Infinity. Because of my flawed perception, I am unable to feel perfection.

Hence, I have precise information about how I am supposed to be (if I aim myself at the goal) and how it differs from what I really am. In each of the states, I have a complete set of data, and all I have to do is to use them correctly to assess what I really want. It will become clear that I am always deficient in bestowal, which would otherwise complete my perception and switch me from feeling bad to feeling the perfection that was given to me by the Creator.

The Creator offers me perfection, whereas I feel as though I am flawed and living in a flawed world. The difference between what He sent to me and what I feel is, in fact, my internal flaw. Right now, if I could add bestowal to all my desires, I would move from a bad state to a good one instantly. This deficiency I feel is the prayer with which I am turning to Him right now to ask for the property of bestowal, the force of Bina or correction.

As soon as the right plea is formed, I get an immediate response which actually can be an even worse state of being. That is, my feeling of how remote I am from authentic bestowal is going to become even more acute. I used to assess my remoteness with a rough measuring device, and now I am using a very accurate one, which is how I am able to see a greater deviation.

However, it doesn’t mean that my state has gotten worse in itself. I did change for the better, but at the same time, I have come to understand my state better. I have gained greater receptivity.
[43839]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/24/2011, Writings of Rabash

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