Questions I received on relationships:

Question: What does a man look for in a woman?

My Answer: “Consolation” (fulfillment), as it says in the Torah (Beresheet 3:23): “Because she comes from me.”

Question: Should she be pretty and quiet, or should she just be herself?

My Answer: She should have everything necessary to complete “Adam.”

Question: In one of your articles you recommend your regular students to dedicate fifteen minutes a day to their wives. Is this so, and if yes, then what is the reason for it?

My Answer: Kabbalah obligates people to dedicate a specific amount of time and attention to their spouses. People today are busier than ever before, and hence we’ve set a rule in the group that besides taking care of the home and children, spouses have to sit down together and calmly talk for at least fifteen minutes a day.

What about you, are you able to speak with your husband calmly and on a daily basis? Does this ever happen?

Question: I got divorced two months ago. In a TV show you said that you are against divorce. I did everything to prevent it, but I’ve read some books and I know that Kabbalah says that sometimes people get married and have children, but their union is not “meant to be.” People get divorced and then find their proper match, someone who’s meant for them. Is this true?

My Answer: Kabbalah does not forbid divorce, especially in cases when one’s married life prevents one from attaining the purpose of one’s life in this world - the goal of creation. However, in other cases, it’s usually best to avoid getting a divorce.

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Three questions I received on ritual observance and Kabbalah:

Question: To my regret, I was raised in a family that observed the Jewish traditions, and I even studied in a Yeshiva. Now I am completely secular, do not observe the traditions, and feel perfectly satisfied with this. However, I feel pressure from my environment to observe the commandments at the corporeal level. Can you offer me some advice on how to deal with this and how to avoid fighting with my wife (I am married with four children)?

My Answer: If a person was raised with the traditions and believes in reward and punishment for them, then it is very difficult to quit observing the traditions. Your wife believes that by observing the earthy commandments you earn the world to come for her and her children, and that you will receive a reward and the Creator’s benevolence. This makes her feel like her life has meaning and gives her the energy to live. Don’t take this away from her! When in front of her, observe what she asks for.

Question: I have been born and raised as an Orthodox Jew. I want to study Kabbalah, but I don’t want to follow the 613 Mitzvot. It feels really burdensome having to follow so many Mitzvot. At the same time the idea of studying Kabbalah is wholly interesting to me as well as the various concepts that you espouse on your great blog. How should I think about this matter?

My Answer: Without changing anything about you or your lifestyle, study Kabbalah, alongside the rest of the earthly Torah. We do not accept Orthodox Jews or even Kipot Srugot (knitted yarmulkes) into our core group, but virtual study is your right.

Question: I came to orthodox religion and left it after I failed to find the Creator there and realized that it was the wrong path. My question is: are there such things as a supreme judge and judgment, and reward and punishment, the way the orthodox believe?

My Answer: What exists is:

1. The Creator, the Law of Nature;
2. The creature; and
3. The connection between them.

The goal of creation is to attain adhesion with the Creator. The means to attain it is by correcting the creature from “for one’s own sake” to “for the sake of Creator.” Then the Creator becomes revealed within the creature. This is what Kabbalah talks about, and this is what exists.

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The Book of Zohar. Chapter “The Fifth Commandment” (abridged)

215. The fifth Commandment. It is written: “LET THE WATERS SWARM WITH SWARMS OF LIVING CREATURES.” This verse contains three Commandments. The first is to study the Torah (as it is written, “I have created egoism and the Torah for its correction,” which is achieved only through the study of Kabbalah, which attracts Ohr Makif – the Surrounding Light), the second is to procreate and multiply (spiritually; that is to say, to develop the point in the heart to its full capacity – the soul), and the third is to remove the foreskin on the eighth day (to make the corrections under the condition of complete bestowal, cutting off from oneself the work in desires that are impossible to correct – “Lev haEven” – the heart of stone, Zivug in Sefira Yesod, and not Malchut). And it is necessary to study the Torah on all the days, at all times, in order to correct one’s soul and spirit (to search within oneself for the Creator and for a dialogue with Him every minute of one’s life).

216. Because man labors in the study of the Torah, he corrects the other holy soul, as it is written, SWARMS OF LIVING CREATURES, referring to the life-giving holy soul, Malchut. For when man does not study the Torah (the method of correction), he lacks the holy (loving and bestowing) soul and the (quality of) holiness that descends from Above (from the Creator). Yet, when he does study the Torah, he merits its Light (correction and fulfillment), just like the holy angels (he merits full equivalence to the Creator, just like the angels; the only difference is that they are mechanical creatures, whereas man attains equivalence consciously, with his desire and efforts).

217. It is written, “Angels of the Creator (people who have attained the level of the Creator Himself, and who are hence called ‘angels’) shall bless Him.” This refers to those who study the Torah (correct themselves), as they are called His angels on earth (those who have corrected their desire, while in and of themselves the angels are qualities of Bina, the Creator, bestowal). It is also written, “BIRDS SOARING OVER THE EARTH.” This refers to this world. However, in the world to come, as it is said, the Creator will make them (those who correct themselves) wings like those of an eagle so they may soar (with their corrected desires of love and bestowal) over the whole world (over their whole egoism).

218. It is written in this regard: LET BIRDS SOAR OVER THE EARTH, for the Torah, called “THE WATERS” (the quality of Bina, love and bestowal) will SWARM WITH SWARMS OF LIVING CREATURES (will be filled with the corrected souls of people) from its place of life (the desires that feel themselves, their lack of correction), called Malchut (all the created desires), and all will descend down below (the intentions “for one’s own sake” will disappear and only the pure intentions – “for the sake of others” – will remain). This is what King David referred to when he said, “THE CREATOR CREATED IN ME A PURE HEART” to study The Torah (correct oneself), and “A HOLY SPIRIT (of love and bestowal) WAS RENEWED WITHIN ME (what was contained in the Thought of Creation now became my conscious aspiration, to fulfill myself).”

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A question I received: I don’t know why, but the more I listen to you, the more I fall in love with you. I just can’t understand it. How do you do it? The more I listen to you, the more I want to keep listening. What’s your secret?

My Answer: This has got nothing to do with me – it’s the Light you receive from the source texts (the books) that we use for our studies. I recommend not focusing your attention on the teacher or instructor, but instead looking “through” him, and through the material and the idea, to see the Creator, the quality of bestowal, of love for your neighbor!

This is why when I publish letters and questions I receive on this blog, I usually omit the words of gratitude and other such statements. There are no idols in Kabbalah. In fact, we don’t even know where Moses’s grave is located. It’s because everything must point only to the Creator. In addition, one shouldn’t imagine Him as as an image (according to the prohibition of making a graven image), but as the quality of bestowal and love.

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Questions I received on the goal, the Ten Commandments, humor, Aviut, the point in the heart, and Torah and Mitzvot:

Question: One of our salutatory expressions is: “One Goal!” What singular word best sums up that one goal?

My Answer: Dvekut (adhesion).

Question: What is the Kabbalistic meaning of the Ten Commandments?

My Answer: Correction of the ten fundamental qualities of the soul.

Question: Could you please elaborate on how Aviut changes its qualities during Zivug de-Haka’a in each of the five levels, and what happens with Kashiut alongside?

My Answer: I explain this in great detail in my book The Science of Kabbalah (Pticha).

Question: Does humor have any value in the spiritual world?

My Answer: Yes, because it’s created by a combination of opposites.

Question: Can a Kabbalist see whose point in the heart has truly awakened?

My Answer: Yes. But more importantly, the person must feel this on his own and realize his point in the heart. He can do this by developing it in a group (being in contact with other points) and through study.

Question: In the Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot, Baal HaSulam says that observing Torah and Mitzvot is the attainment of real life. What does it mean to observe Torah and Mizvot for someone who isn’t religious and has no Jewish cultural background?

My Answer: It means to correct one’s natural intentions in all of one’s actions, from “for the sake of oneself” to the intention “for the sake of others.” This is done by means of Ohr Makif (Surrounding Light) that descends onto a person during the study of Kabbalah.

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A question I received: Today the wisdom of Kabbalah isn’t passed down the way it was in the past, from a Rav to a student. Instead, it is implemented in a big group. Spirituality is attained in a group, where all 600,000 people reach attainment together like at Mount Sinai. Is it true that there are no more individuals who can attain spirituality by the old method? Is this the reason why the mutual guarantee, “love your neighbor as yourself” in a group is now the method for attaining equivalence with the Creator?

My Answer: Kabbalah was revealed by Abraham in ancient Babylon. It’s a method of correcting the egoism of the whole civilization, bringing it to equivalence with the Creator - eternal and perfect existence. However, since the people of Babylon did not want to correct their egoism, but wanted to develop egoistically, we have now reached the dead end of such development, just like The Book of Zohar predicted.

Today that entire Babylonian civilization has spread around the whole planet, and it is reaching the conclusion that it’s necessary to implement the method of egoism’s correction. There is simply no other way to go, as otherwise we will destroy ourselves. The way to implement the method of correction is for everyone to unite into one soul, to “love your neighbor as yourself.” In the Torah, this is explained as the condition of the Creator’s revelation at Mount Sinai.

Throughout the past 4000 years the method was preserved and adjusted to fit the times. This was done by a lineage of individual Kabbalists who lived in every generation. Today it is presented to us through the compositions of Baal HaSulam in a form that’s ready to use. I am a faithful student of Baal HaSulam’s oldest son, Rabash (as stated in Rabash’s obituary in the newspaper “HaModia” on September 15, 1991) and my role is to help people understand these materials.

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The Book of Zohar. Chapter “The First Commandment” (abridged)

189. BERESHEET BARAH ELOKIM (In the beginning the Creator created) is the first commandment, the root and foundation of all creation, called “fear of the Creator” or RESHEET (beginning), as it is written: “Fear of the Creator is the beginning of wisdom.” It is also written, “Fear of the Creator is the beginning of knowledge,” for this fear is called “the beginning.” And it is the gate (the first property) that leads to faith (the property of bestowal). And this Mitzva (law of the universe) is the foundation of the whole world (all other laws are derived from it).

190. There are three types of fear, two of which have no real basis, but one does. If man fears that his children may die, or fears illness or bodily suffering, or fears for his material well-being, this kind of fear (even if constant) is not the basis or root, for only desirable consequences constitute the cause of fear. This is called “the fear of punishment in this world.” But there is also another type of fear: the fear of punishment in the world to come, in hell. These two types of fear – the fear of punishment in this world and in the world to come – do not constitute true fear.

191. The true fear is the fear of the Creator, for He is great and almighty, for He is the Source of everything, and all else is nothing compared to Him. Man should concentrate all his attention on attaining this kind of fear.

192. Rabbi Shimon started to weep, wailing, “Woe if I reveal and woe if I do not reveal: If I reveal the means of attaining fear, the sinners will know how to work for the Creator for their own sake (without exiting their egoism, and hence they won’t correct themselves). And if I do not say how to attain fear of the Creator, it will not reach my friends (those who do wish to exit their egoism). Wherever there is true fear (which allows one to act above one’s egoism, not for his own sake), opposite it and correspondingly below stands an evil fear, which strikes and prosecutes. It is the scourge that whips the sinners (punishing them for their sins. This is why he is afraid to reveal it, for the sinners may learn how to avoid punishment, and punishment constitutes their correction).

193. But he who fears the punishment by whippings, the true fear of the Creator cannot descend upon him. Instead, evil fear overtakes him in the form of fearing punishment by whipping.

194. Therefore, the place that is named “fear of the Creator” is called the beginning of knowledge. This is why this Commandment is included here. And it is the foundation and source of all the other Commandments of the Torah. And whoever observes the Commandment of fear of the Creator, thereby observes all the others. But he who does not observe the Commandment of fear of the Creator, does not observe the other Commandments of the Torah, for this Commandment constitutes the foundation for all the others.

195. Therefore, it is written, “IN THE BEGINNING” (signifying fear) THE CREATOR CREATED THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH. For whoever transgresses FEAR, transgresses all of the Torah’s Commandments (laws of the Upper World, which are based upon bestowal). And his punishment is the evil scourge - the evil fear that whips him. Further in the Torah, the words, “AND THE EARTH WAS UNFORMED AND CHAOTIC, AND DARKNESS WAS UPON THE FACE OF THE DEEP, AND THE SPIRIT OF THE CREATOR” refer to the four punishments of the wicked.

196. WITHOUT FORM refers to strangulation. CHAOTIC refers to stoning - the stones that fall into the great deep to punish the sinners. DARKNESS signifies burning. THE SPIRIT OF THE CREATOR refers to beheading.

197. The spirit of the Creator means beheading, for the scorching wind (Ruach Se’ara) is a flaming sword – punishment for whoever does not observe the Torah and Commandments that are mentioned after the Commandment of fear, called “foundation,” as it includes all the Commandments. This is because after the word BERESHEET (BEGINNING), which signifies fear, and further it is written WITHOUT FORM, CHAOS, DARKNESS and SPIRIT – the four penalties of death.

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A question I received: Apparently Rav Baruch Ashlag (Rabash) wrote many books, including commentaries to the Talmud Eser Sefirot, to the “Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah,” to the “Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot” and others. What do you think about these books, and why don’t you disseminate them?

My Answer: Rabash only wrote his notes (Dargot HaSulam – the archive he left to me, which I published), articles (Shlavey HaSulam, which are articles written by his students), and letters (Igrot Rabash). In addition, it’s possible that some people have additional letters that were addressed to them. However, none of Rabash’s compositions were published during his lifetime! I was next to Rabash for twelve years as a secretary, assistant, student, treasurer and archive manager, and I can assure you that he did not write anything else.

When I started studying with him, I persuaded him to let me record his lessons. As a result, we now have over a thousand audio cassettes of his lessons. I made copies of all the cassettes and gave them to all his students. One of them edits and publishes these recordings, presenting them as the works of Rabash. Personally I believe that we have no right to pass off for original material something that was recorded while he spoke, then subsequently copied and edited into written form. Incidentally, this prohibition is a law in the Torah, and it applies to things that were not personally written. Moreover, there are many changes and additions due to the editing, and I think they distort Rabash’s explanations. Many of Rabash’s students agree with me on this. Hence, I recommend that you to listen to his voice - his audio lessons in the original, for example, the ones on this website - (it’s not affiliated with me or Bnei Baruch): http://ashlagbaroch.org/

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The Book of Zohar. Chapter “The Torah and Prayer” (abridged)

180. Rabbi Shimon opened (the way for the Light) and said: “It is written that Hizkiyahu (Hezekiah) turned his face (property of bestowal) to the wall (Screen) and prayed to the Creator (raised MAN).” Let us see how great and potent the power of the Torah (force of bestowal) is, and how high it rises above all (the egoistic disturbances). For he who engages in the Torah (self correction) has no fear of those Above or below (forces, obstructions), nor of any hardships or illnesses of this world, for he is connected to the Tree of Life and learns from it each day (realizes that all the obstructions are meant to help him learn to be similar to the Creator).

181. For the Torah teaches man how to walk a path of truth; it teaches him how to return to his Master and cancel what is predestined for him (correction through suffering). And even if man is shown that what is predestined for him cannot be canceled, it is nonetheless completely canceled and annulled, then disappears at once and does not prevail over him in this world. Hence, man should study the Torah day and night (when the Light shines or does not shine for him), and never abandon it (as a means of correction), as it is written: “Contemplate Him day and night.” Whoever abandons the Torah (his corrections), it is as though he abandons the Tree of Life (the ray of Light that connects him to the World of Infinity, to the root of his soul)

“Contemplate Him day and night” – “Him” implies the Creator! In another place in The Zohar, it is said that Hizkiyahu’s prayer was accepted by the Creator, for nothing (no egoistic desires) separated him from the wall (the Shechina, the sensation of the Creator, akin to the Wailing Wall).

182. Come and see – such is the advice given to man: when at night (powerless) he goes to bed (in the state of lying down, the body and the head are equally important – there’s no control over self), then he must accept the Creator’s governance from Above (above his reason, which is egoistically opposed to bestowal, and wholeheartedly entrust his soul to Him (rise above his egoistic desire). Thus, man is immediately spared all the (egoistic errors) illnesses, slander, and evil eyes, and they will no longer have power over him.

183. And in the morning (when the Light shines for him), when he rises from his bed (the head rises above the body and controls it), he must bless the Creator (for this) and enter (with his properties) His house, and bow before Him (take all the conditions of the Upper Nature upon himself) in fear and trepidation (because he will not be able to do it without help from the Light), and only then should he pray (attain the ability to be grateful, so that his “I” would agree to it). He should take advice of his holy Patriarchs (forces of the Upper degree), as it is written, “By Your great mercy shall I come into Your house, to bow in fear of Your holy greatness.”

184. Man cannot enter the house of prayer (reveal empty and uncorrected desires within him) unless he first receives permission from Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov (the three lines), for they have corrected the prayer to the Creator (so that he could follow the middle line). It is therefore written, “And in Your great mercy shall I enter into Your house.” The aforesaid refers to Avraham, for his property is mercy, the Sefira Hesed (the right line). “I will bow before Your holy chamber” refers to Yitzchak, for thanks to him Malchut is called Heichal – chamber, the Sefira Gevura (the left line). “In fear and trepidation” refers to Yaakov, for his property is the Sefira Tifferet, called “fear” (the middle line). And man must first enter into these properties, and only then enter the house of prayer to raise his prayers. Such a state is described by the verse, “Here is My slave, Israel, by whom I am adorned.”

Related Material:
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A question I received: What is the Kabbalistic meaning of the Jewish holidays that are coming up?

My Answer: According to the program of creation, all of life is the process of correction of the created egoism so it will be used for love and bestowal to people, and from there – to the Creator. There is no other purpose, meaning or fulfillment in life. This process is comprised of regular actions of correction – the weekdays, and special actions – the Sabbath and holidays.

The Torah divides the holidays (the special actions of correction) into Hagim (Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkoth) and Moadim. Moadim means “holy gatherings”; they are holy because “bestowal” is called holiness. This is when special corrections are done through greater unity (gatherings) of souls, and this is how the souls attain a special degree of closeness with the Creator. The great Kabbalist the Ari describes these states in detail in the book Ta’amei Mitzvot. However, in our time there are no Moadim because there is no Temple and we are not on the level of the gathering of souls into a single soul.

In addition to this, there are holidays that follow the dates of the calendar, that is to say, that follow the direct implementation of the program of correction. These are the Sabbath, Rosh Hodesh (the new month), Rosh HaShana (the New Year), and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement of egoism). So altogether there are five holidays: Pesach (in April), Shavuot (in June), Rosh HaShana (in September), Yom Kippur (in October), and Sukkoth (in October). Each holiday corresponds to a specific level of ascent along the 125 steps of the ladder of ascent toward the correction of the soul, from the egoistic level of our world until the soul’s absolute similarity to the Creator - the World of Infinity.

All the special days are states of ascent due to a special connection between the souls, where the souls attain greater unity in order to become One, like the Creator. All the holidays have been passed down to us from the time when the people of Israel were on the spiritual level and performed acts of correction according to the Creator’s design. However, in our time, instead of correcting egoism and unifying our souls, these actions have been replaced with ritual prayer gatherings.

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