Questions I received on relationships:

Question: What does a man look for in a woman?

My Answer: “Consolation” (fulfillment), as it says in the Torah (Beresheet 3:23): “Because she comes from me.”

Question: Should she be pretty and quiet, or should she just be herself?

My Answer: She should have everything necessary to complete “Adam.”

Question: In one of your articles you recommend your regular students to dedicate fifteen minutes a day to their wives. Is this so, and if yes, then what is the reason for it?

My Answer: Kabbalah obligates people to dedicate a specific amount of time and attention to their spouses. People today are busier than ever before, and hence we’ve set a rule in the group that besides taking care of the home and children, spouses have to sit down together and calmly talk for at least fifteen minutes a day.

What about you, are you able to speak with your husband calmly and on a daily basis? Does this ever happen?

Question: I got divorced two months ago. In a TV show you said that you are against divorce. I did everything to prevent it, but I’ve read some books and I know that Kabbalah says that sometimes people get married and have children, but their union is not “meant to be.” People get divorced and then find their proper match, someone who’s meant for them. Is this true?

My Answer: Kabbalah does not forbid divorce, especially in cases when one’s married life prevents one from attaining the purpose of one’s life in this world - the goal of creation. However, in other cases, it’s usually best to avoid getting a divorce.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: Woman = Desire
Laitman.com Post: The Only Thing That Can Justify Getting a Divorce
Article:  “Coming Together - The Real Meaning”
Article: “Eve - Just the Tool in the Creator’s Hands”

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Two questions I received from beginners:

Question: I feel alienated from my material environment. I feel like everyone around me, even my close friends, are doing things that don’t matter. It’s difficult for me to have any contact with them because I view everything from the standpoint of the purpose of life. I feel like I don’t have any of the desires of normal society: I am not interested in money, sex, or honor. What is going on with me?

My Answer: You are still searching for yourself, your path and your goal. If you have tried to be like everyone else and couldn’t, then you are meant for spiritual development. Devote all your energy to it, and you’ll discover a treasure!

Question: Is it scary or dangerous to read Kabbalah texts if you don’t understand them?

My Answer: My advice to you is: If you are scared, then don’t read them! The people who study Kabbalah are those who need to understand what is the purpose of their lives, and at that point they are no longer scared of anything – they simply need this.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: Love Is Providing Others With the Means to Fulfill Their Point in the Heart
Laitman.com Post: Study Kabbalah, and the Spiritual Worries Will Outweigh Your Current Worries
Laitman.com Post: The Spiritual Goal Is the Same for Everyone
Laitman.com Post: Which Books Correct Us?
Kabbalah Today Article: The Gatekeeper

 

 Chapter from Book Attaining the Worlds Beyond: Spiritual Path [6:42m]: Play Now | Download

 

 Development of Desires [04:41m]: Play Now | Download

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Three questions I received on ritual observance and Kabbalah:

Question: To my regret, I was raised in a family that observed the Jewish traditions, and I even studied in a Yeshiva. Now I am completely secular, do not observe the traditions, and feel perfectly satisfied with this. However, I feel pressure from my environment to observe the commandments at the corporeal level. Can you offer me some advice on how to deal with this and how to avoid fighting with my wife (I am married with four children)?

My Answer: If a person was raised with the traditions and believes in reward and punishment for them, then it is very difficult to quit observing the traditions. Your wife believes that by observing the earthy commandments you earn the world to come for her and her children, and that you will receive a reward and the Creator’s benevolence. This makes her feel like her life has meaning and gives her the energy to live. Don’t take this away from her! When in front of her, observe what she asks for.

Question: I have been born and raised as an Orthodox Jew. I want to study Kabbalah, but I don’t want to follow the 613 Mitzvot. It feels really burdensome having to follow so many Mitzvot. At the same time the idea of studying Kabbalah is wholly interesting to me as well as the various concepts that you espouse on your great blog. How should I think about this matter?

My Answer: Without changing anything about you or your lifestyle, study Kabbalah, alongside the rest of the earthly Torah. We do not accept Orthodox Jews or even Kipot Srugot (knitted yarmulkes) into our core group, but virtual study is your right.

Question: I came to orthodox religion and left it after I failed to find the Creator there and realized that it was the wrong path. My question is: are there such things as a supreme judge and judgment, and reward and punishment, the way the orthodox believe?

My Answer: What exists is:

1. The Creator, the Law of Nature;
2. The creature; and
3. The connection between them.

The goal of creation is to attain adhesion with the Creator. The means to attain it is by correcting the creature from “for one’s own sake” to “for the sake of Creator.” Then the Creator becomes revealed within the creature. This is what Kabbalah talks about, and this is what exists.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: The Creator Does Not Have Arms or Legs
Laitman.com Post: Religion and Kabbalah Are Opposite
Laitman.com Post: Why Are There So Many Words In the Torah?
Kabbalah Today Article: A Mitzva
Baal HaSulam Article: “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose”
The Secret Meaning of the Bible

 

 Video: Rabash - Which Torah & Mitzvot Purify the Heart? [14:17m]: Play Now | Download

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Dear friends! On November 14th - 16th, the St. Louis group will be hosting a Congress to continue our exciting journey together and reveal new levels of unity!

We invite the World Kli to join us, and we extend a special invitation to our new friends in the Bnei Baruch Learning Center to come experience your first taste of the vital work that is being done.

• Click here to see photos of the congress site
• Click here for details and registration
• If you have any questions, write to this address

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Two questions I received on inner work:

Question: As parts of one soul, we all depend on each other whether we’re aware of it or not. But every person contains the whole world. What is the measure of the dependency between us? Should we increase it or should we see ourselves as individuals and only unite our points in the heart?

My Answer: We should only unite our points in the heart, because all our other desires are for corporeal things. By uniting our aspirations for spirituality, we create the vessel in which the Light, the Creator becomes revealed.

Question: How does the system of mutual guarantee of the World Kli become expressed in practice, at times when one is not involved in the group work (study, dissemination, congresses, and so on), but is occupied with the necessities (work, family, and so on)?

My Answer: If a person takes proper care of his spiritual advancement in his spare time, then he provides himself with support that will sustain him on the right track during the rest of the time as well. Our world formed as a result of the descent of the Upper Forces, and it completely corresponds to the thought of creation and its purpose, provided that we use it correctly. That is, if we connect the thought with the goal, or in other words, implement the goal, going from the thought to the goal.

We have been given all the conditions - the body and its short life, including all the conditions of existence such as family and the efforts we have to make to sustain the life of the body, as well as all the disturbances and developmental forces. All of this only seems corporeal to us, but in reality this is how spiritual forces present themselves to us at their minimal level. We only have to “blend” into this picture correctly and complete the “empty space” in it with our free actions. At the end of the day everything comes down to uniting our aspirations to the Creator - to bestowal or love for one’s neighbor. We try doing this and then see that we can’t. We then ask for help, and the Creator corrects us!

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: The Spiritual Goal Is the Same for Everyone
Laitman.com Post: Correction Lies In Unity
Kabbalah Today Article: Camp Mt. Sinai

 

 On the Demand of Arvut: Play Now | Download

 

 On the Demand of Arvut: Play Now | Download

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If you have questions regarding the logistics of studying, paying the Maaser, and dissemination, please send them to english@kabbalah.info rather than asking them on this blog, and my secretary will relay your question to the appropriate department.

Thank you!

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Two questions I received on why women don’t stay loyal to their partners:

Question: My girlfriends and I have been wondering why one man is never enough for a woman? Why is it that even if he studies Kabbalah, she loses interest in him after a while and starts looking for someone new? Isn’t monogamy natural for a woman? As a wife and a mother, isn’t she supposed to be faithful - a loyal companion for her man? So where does this desire come from to be with new men all the time? What should a woman do with this desire, and how can she change so as to be in harmony with nature?

My Answer: I think that you are disillusioned in your men. Apart from the minimal corporeal needs, fulfillment can only be spiritual. So find a man with whom you can study the book Shamati – and you will never leave him!

Question: Could you please comment on the following news report from Ethology.ru: The managers of the IllicitEncounters.com dating website made an interesting observation. In their opinion, the economic recession and men’s bankruptcy is causing more married women to register on their site in order to find extra-marital affairs. This phenomenon opens up a broad field for further research on how a woman instinctively behaves in the areas of family and intimate relations.

My Answer: The phenomenon is indeed instinctive, egoistic, animate, and natural. There is nothing strange about it. A female chooses a partner by his ability to provide for her and her offspring. In the animal kingdom, the female chooses the partner by his strength, rather than how handsome he is or because he has a “good heart” – the way people do in the movies.

Egoism is our only force. If you want something else instead, then ask the Creator to give you the opposite force – the force of bestowal. There are no other forces in nature!

Related Material:
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Laitman.com Post: Polygamy - a Matter of Culture
Laitman.com Post: Don’t Look for Love In This World

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A question I received: Free will does not exist in this world, but only environmental pressures. The only free choice that exists is which group of people one wishes to associate with. One must recognize oneself as a wretched egoist - and not only as an egoist, but as the worst of the worst ilk that has ever walked this glorious planet. One cannot get to appreciate the extent of one’s abhorrent nature without the help of Ohr Makif (the Surrounding Light), which descends on us during the study of Kabbalah. When one perceives oneself as this grotesque creature, this results in prayer, and one is then granted by the mercy of the Creator freedom from one’s evil inclinations, and becomes one with the Creator.

Now for my question: Given the fact that free will does not exist, how can an individual rationally see oneself as the worst? Yes, one may come to recognize that one is at odds with the Creator, but how and why is it necessary to come to realize that one is the worst of the worst of the worst? Would it not suffice to just see oneself as an egoist, like the other egoists? Why the worst? And how can one believe that of oneself when one is aware that free will does not exist?

My Answer: Only a new, spiritual environment will give you the confidence and forces to demand the Light of Correction. Then, in this Light you will discover that you are the only evil egoist who is harming everyone. However, rather than making you depressed, this realization will give you a push to demand the Light of Correction from the Creator.

On the other hand, if the environment will not give you the force to do this and the importance of the goal, then upon discovering your egoistic qualities as evil, you will fall into depression and despair.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: What Is a True Prayer?
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Laitman.com Post: The Greatest Power Comes from Yielding to Others
Article - “The Freedom of Will”
Attaining the Worlds Beyond: Chapter 21 - “Correcting Egoism”

 

 Where Is Our Freedom [2:04m]: Play Now | Download

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Questions I received on faith above reason, belief in oneself, and the purpose of suffering:

Question: Sometimes this world looks so wonderful, but in spite of it I try to hold on to the point in the heart. Is this the meaning of advancing with “faith above reason?”

My Answer: “Faith above reason” means “bestowal above reception.” It’s when you prefer to be inside the quality of bestowal in spite of the egoism that weighs you down, regardless of all its pleasures. Your entire reward lies only in remaining in this state, because it pleases the Creator, even though no one knows anything about what you are doing, and no one will find out.

Question: Why don’t I believe in myself? I am stuck in this.

My Answer: That’s good - rely on us!

Question: I don’t understand why the Creator is giving me so much suffering in the corporeal world. How can I unite with Him in this state?

My Answer: He wants you to come close to Him precisely from this state, and hence He gives you an aspiration toward Him. See the article “There Is None Else Besides Him.”

Question: How do we overcome despair, blows of fate, and hopelessness that haunt us on the path to the spiritual world?

My Answer: By receiving support from the group in study, dissemination, and revelation of the fact that the Creator is one - that “There is none else besides Him,” that He is Good and does only good.

Question: Two months ago I studied Kabbalah a lot, but now I am in a descent. Over the last month I started feeling a need for respect and honor. Before I do anything, I prepare ahead of time to acquire respect and honor. What should I do?

My Answer: You are advancing wonderfully: it’s taken you just two months to start seeing your true nature! Be grateful for the realization of evil and start trying to correct it. You will soon learn that this is impossible to do, and then you will ask the Creator to help you do this!

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: Faith Above Reason Is Bestowal Above Reception
Attaining the Worlds Beyond: Chapter 1 - “Perceiving the Creator (Faith Above Reason)”
Laitman.com Post: Be Happy about the Descents!

 

 Film: The Purpose of Suffering and the Way to Avoid It [0:51m]: Play Now | Download

 

 Kabbalah Revealed - Episode 8: There Is None Else Beside Him - Part 1 [24:57m]: Play Now | Download

 

 Kabbalah Revealed Episode 9 - There Is None Else Beside Him Part 2 [25:01m]: Play Now | Download

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Two questions I received on the ego:

Question: What does it mean to hate the ego? Before we cross the Machsom, our entire nature is the ego. So doesn’t this mean that I’m supposed to hate myself?

My Answer: Kabbalah speaks to those people who start feeling a duality inside them: the ego that desires this world, and a point in the heart, which aspires toward the Upper World. Kabbalah helps one turn this point into a vessel for the reception and perception of the Upper World.

Question: During the morning lessons you often speak about the meaning of difficulties (the “guards”) that we receive. But what is the Creator’s objective in giving us success in corporeal things, such as a promotion at work, a perfect grade on an exam, and so on? The ego gets blown up when this happens. Should I try to suppress it or “go with the flow” of the success?

My Answer: You should control it: your actions should be determined by the importance of life’s meaning. And you shouldn’t refuse success at work or school. The intention of attaining the Creator does not conflict with career.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: Be Happy About Egoism’s Growth!
Laitman.com Post: First Become a Scientist, and Then You Can Speak Against Science
Kabbalah Today Article: Making Room for the Creator
The Kabbalah Experience: Chapter 5 - “The Desire for Pleasure: Discovery and Correction”

 

 We Shouldn׳t Fight Egoism [02:03m]: Play Now | Download

 

 What is Light in Kabbalah? [04:41m]: Play Now | Download

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