Questions I received on relationships:

Question: What does a man look for in a woman?

My Answer: “Consolation” (fulfillment), as it says in the Torah (Beresheet 3:23): “Because she comes from me.”

Question: Should she be pretty and quiet, or should she just be herself?

My Answer: She should have everything necessary to complete “Adam.”

Question: In one of your articles you recommend your regular students to dedicate fifteen minutes a day to their wives. Is this so, and if yes, then what is the reason for it?

My Answer: Kabbalah obligates people to dedicate a specific amount of time and attention to their spouses. People today are busier than ever before, and hence we’ve set a rule in the group that besides taking care of the home and children, spouses have to sit down together and calmly talk for at least fifteen minutes a day.

What about you, are you able to speak with your husband calmly and on a daily basis? Does this ever happen?

Question: I got divorced two months ago. In a TV show you said that you are against divorce. I did everything to prevent it, but I’ve read some books and I know that Kabbalah says that sometimes people get married and have children, but their union is not “meant to be.” People get divorced and then find their proper match, someone who’s meant for them. Is this true?

My Answer: Kabbalah does not forbid divorce, especially in cases when one’s married life prevents one from attaining the purpose of one’s life in this world - the goal of creation. However, in other cases, it’s usually best to avoid getting a divorce.

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Three questions I received on ritual observance and Kabbalah:

Question: To my regret, I was raised in a family that observed the Jewish traditions, and I even studied in a Yeshiva. Now I am completely secular, do not observe the traditions, and feel perfectly satisfied with this. However, I feel pressure from my environment to observe the commandments at the corporeal level. Can you offer me some advice on how to deal with this and how to avoid fighting with my wife (I am married with four children)?

My Answer: If a person was raised with the traditions and believes in reward and punishment for them, then it is very difficult to quit observing the traditions. Your wife believes that by observing the earthy commandments you earn the world to come for her and her children, and that you will receive a reward and the Creator’s benevolence. This makes her feel like her life has meaning and gives her the energy to live. Don’t take this away from her! When in front of her, observe what she asks for.

Question: I have been born and raised as an Orthodox Jew. I want to study Kabbalah, but I don’t want to follow the 613 Mitzvot. It feels really burdensome having to follow so many Mitzvot. At the same time the idea of studying Kabbalah is wholly interesting to me as well as the various concepts that you espouse on your great blog. How should I think about this matter?

My Answer: Without changing anything about you or your lifestyle, study Kabbalah, alongside the rest of the earthly Torah. We do not accept Orthodox Jews or even Kipot Srugot (knitted yarmulkes) into our core group, but virtual study is your right.

Question: I came to orthodox religion and left it after I failed to find the Creator there and realized that it was the wrong path. My question is: are there such things as a supreme judge and judgment, and reward and punishment, the way the orthodox believe?

My Answer: What exists is:

1. The Creator, the Law of Nature;
2. The creature; and
3. The connection between them.

The goal of creation is to attain adhesion with the Creator. The means to attain it is by correcting the creature from “for one’s own sake” to “for the sake of Creator.” Then the Creator becomes revealed within the creature. This is what Kabbalah talks about, and this is what exists.

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Two questions I received on inner work:

Question: As parts of one soul, we all depend on each other whether we’re aware of it or not. But every person contains the whole world. What is the measure of the dependency between us? Should we increase it or should we see ourselves as individuals and only unite our points in the heart?

My Answer: We should only unite our points in the heart, because all our other desires are for corporeal things. By uniting our aspirations for spirituality, we create the vessel in which the Light, the Creator becomes revealed.

Question: How does the system of mutual guarantee of the World Kli become expressed in practice, at times when one is not involved in the group work (study, dissemination, congresses, and so on), but is occupied with the necessities (work, family, and so on)?

My Answer: If a person takes proper care of his spiritual advancement in his spare time, then he provides himself with support that will sustain him on the right track during the rest of the time as well. Our world formed as a result of the descent of the Upper Forces, and it completely corresponds to the thought of creation and its purpose, provided that we use it correctly. That is, if we connect the thought with the goal, or in other words, implement the goal, going from the thought to the goal.

We have been given all the conditions - the body and its short life, including all the conditions of existence such as family and the efforts we have to make to sustain the life of the body, as well as all the disturbances and developmental forces. All of this only seems corporeal to us, but in reality this is how spiritual forces present themselves to us at their minimal level. We only have to “blend” into this picture correctly and complete the “empty space” in it with our free actions. At the end of the day everything comes down to uniting our aspirations to the Creator - to bestowal or love for one’s neighbor. We try doing this and then see that we can’t. We then ask for help, and the Creator corrects us!

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 On the Demand of Arvut: Play Now | Download

 

 On the Demand of Arvut: Play Now | Download

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The Book of Zohar. Chapter “The Seventh Commandment” (abridged)

223. The Seventh Commandment is to perform circumcision (of desires that cannot be corrected) on the eighth day, and thus remove the impurity (of egoism) of the foreskin (Malchut), for Malchut (the desire that cannot be corrected within the 6000 years, in the process of correction) constitutes the eighth degree of all the degrees, beginning with Bina (Bina, Hesed, Gevura, Tifferet, Netzah, Hod, Yesod, Malchut). And the soul that soars from her (that ascends from Malchut Ohr Hozer ) must appear before her on the eighth day; hence, she constitutes the eighth degree.

224. It then becomes clear that the type (level) of this soul is Haya. That is, belonging to that holy degree of Haya (Malchut), and not to any other degree. And this is implied by, LET THE WATERS SWARM, as is explained in the book of Hanoch, the waters of the holy seed merge in the properties of the soul of Haya. And it is the property of the letter Yod (the level of Haya), marked on the sacred flesh, more than any other mark that exists in the world. (The level of Haya is the animate level; hence it is written, “Let the waters swarm” – Bina will be filled with parts of Malchut, which will thereby correct themselves by ascending and connecting Malchut to Bina).

225. The verse, LET BIRDS SOAR OVER THE EARTH, refers to Eliyahu (the prophet), who flies across the whole world in four flights (Yod-Hey-Vav-Hey) in order to be present in the place where the Holy Covenant (union of Malchut and Bina) is made. And a chair (the place of union between Malchut and Bina) must be prepared for him, and it must be said out loud (this must be revealed by means of correction), THIS IS THE CHAIR OF ELIYAHU. For if this is not done, he will not appear in that place (for want of an opportunity to reveal himself).

226. And the Creator created great Leviathans (Malchut in its completely corrected state). They were two: (called) Orla and Preia, male (Masach and Ohr Hozer) and female (desire, Aviut) forces. And (He also created) all living creatures (of the level of Haya). This is the mark (revelation) of the Holy Covenant (between the Creator and Malchut), the soul of the holy Light of Haya (Ohr Hozer of the level of Haya), as it is written, “LET THE WATERS (of Bina, and Malchut that connected to her) SWARM,” i.e. the Supernal Waters (the forces of Bina) that descend to this Covenant (with Malchut).

227. The reason why Israel (the correcting part) below (in Malchut) is marked in the holy form (love and bestowal), similar to its form Above (in Bina), is to separate the pure part (Malchut that becomes corrected by uniting with Bina) from the impure (one that cannot be corrected until Gmar Tikkun), to distinguish between the holiness of Israel (that which can be corrected, what remains after circumcision) and the other nations (which cannot be corrected until the end of correction, which are cut off) that originate from the other (egoistic) side. And just as Israel (parts of Malchut that can be corrected) was marked, so were the animals and birds (levels of Malchut) to determine which of them belong to Israel (which need to be corrected), and which belong to the nations of the world (which are to be corrected later). (Israel = Isra-El = straight to the Creator – meaning the parts of Malchut that can be corrected. This bears no relation to nationality, but only to one’s desire, one’s point in the heart. This happened for the first time in Babylon, when a group of people with point in the heart - the desire for correction, separated from the rest of the Babylonians).

Related Material:
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Two questions I received on love:

Question: What is “the suffering of love”?

My Answer: There is no love in our world. What we call love is the aspiration for pleasure, or to be fulfilled by pleasure. In other words, corporeal love is one’s attitude to that which gives one pleasure. It is measured by the degree of one’s fulfillment from the source of love.

Spiritual love works differently. It’s when a person rises above his egoism and no longer depends on it. He then begins to perceive the desires of others as his own, and unites with the entire desire that was created by the Creator (with the common soul, Adam).

Once he acquires this property of bestowal and concern for fulfilling desires outside of him, he then finds the Creator - the general quality of love, inside this common desire. In this case, “the suffering of love” is when one suffers because he still doesn’t love the Creator, or in other words – because he is not inside the property of bestowal completely.

Question: If spiritual love can only be felt toward one’s neighbor, then it is probably impossible to love those who are not part of my close environment (spiritually speaking)? And when we say “love for others” this means that we understand the egoistic nature of others and realize that these egoistic qualities are temporary?

My Answer: That is absolutely correct. But in addition, it’s also necessary to provide them with a way to become acquainted with Kabbalah in a form suitable for them, and to put it in front of them discretely, so that as soon as their “point in the heart” (a desire for something other than this world) will surface, they can immediately discover the means to fulfill it.

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Questions I received on the goal, the Ten Commandments, humor, Aviut, the point in the heart, and Torah and Mitzvot:

Question: One of our salutatory expressions is: “One Goal!” What singular word best sums up that one goal?

My Answer: Dvekut (adhesion).

Question: What is the Kabbalistic meaning of the Ten Commandments?

My Answer: Correction of the ten fundamental qualities of the soul.

Question: Could you please elaborate on how Aviut changes its qualities during Zivug de-Haka’a in each of the five levels, and what happens with Kashiut alongside?

My Answer: I explain this in great detail in my book The Science of Kabbalah (Pticha).

Question: Does humor have any value in the spiritual world?

My Answer: Yes, because it’s created by a combination of opposites.

Question: Can a Kabbalist see whose point in the heart has truly awakened?

My Answer: Yes. But more importantly, the person must feel this on his own and realize his point in the heart. He can do this by developing it in a group (being in contact with other points) and through study.

Question: In the Introduction to Talmud Eser Sefirot, Baal HaSulam says that observing Torah and Mitzvot is the attainment of real life. What does it mean to observe Torah and Mizvot for someone who isn’t religious and has no Jewish cultural background?

My Answer: It means to correct one’s natural intentions in all of one’s actions, from “for the sake of oneself” to the intention “for the sake of others.” This is done by means of Ohr Makif (Surrounding Light) that descends onto a person during the study of Kabbalah.

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Questions I received on tears and crying:

Question: I’ve never seen you answer a question about tears on this blog. What is the spiritual root of this phenomenon?

My Answer: In spirituality, tears are the expression of a passive participation in correction. They’re a sign that a person (a Partzuf or soul) is spiritually weak and in the state of Katnut. This is a small state where one has a small screen. That is to say - a screen that only protects one from egoism but doesn’t enable one to work with egoism directly, to bestow.

It is written that the Creator sheds tears into the Great Ocean because He cannot make the correction for the person (see the chapter “The Vision of Rabbi Chiya” in The Book of Zohar). A person has to want to be corrected, but he doesn’t want it. And the Creator is more pained by this than the person, and He sheds tears (Light) into the Great Ocean - the desire He created, and because of that the toughest part of the desire – Malchut de Malchut – is corrected.

Question: When we cry, are we crying for ourselves?

My Answer: Our tears are the ego’s way of expressing itself when it can’t have something it wants or when it feels “compassion” for someone else, which means that we imagine ourselves in someone else’s shoes and are afraid that the same thing will happen to us.

Question: Do such tears indicate spiritual closeness with the Creator?

My Answer: Never!

Question: Then why does one feel “lighter” after crying?

My Answer: Because the animate organism becomes psychologically more relaxed after a nervous stress.

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Questions I received on how to improve our lives through Kabbalah and what to study:

Question: How do I improve the quality of my life when I don’t even know what I want to do with my life? How do I find my area of interest?

My Answer: Read the book Attaining the Worlds Beyond, join a group and try to receive the meaning of life from the group.

Question: It is better to listen to lessons from past congresses or to study with the worldwide Bnei Baruch group?

My Answer: Study whatever you feel attracted to.

Question: Why do our thoughts keep returning to things that happened in the past?

My Answer: Because you don’t aspire forward!

Question: How can a person who is studying Kabbalah avoid the changing of the conditions of his advancement, and what causes it?

My Answer: This is not our business. The only thing that’s in our power and choice is to intensify the influence of the Upper Light on us. So concentrate on this!

Question: How can studying Kabbalah help me overcome panic and anxiety attacks?

My Answer: You will start being anxious about other things, such as “Why don’t I love the Creator and my neighbor? I’m such an egoist! Why am I not inside the group with all of my aspiration?” and so on. These worries will outweigh your current ones.

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A question I received: What is a Reshimo?

My Answer: It’s one’s complete future state - the following, higher degree, which one perceives in a concealed way - obscurely and confusedly. In addition, a Reshimo awakens one’s aspiration toward the future state.

When I put my efforts into my environment (the teacher, group, books, and study) in order to acquire the importance of the future state, then to the degree I aspire to it, the Light from my future state (the next degree) shines onto me from afar - that’s why it’s called Ohr Makif, the Surrounding Light. It shines into my Reshimo with a force equal to the force I’ve acquired by receiving the importance of my future state from my environment (the teacher, group, books, and study) - the force of my aspiration toward the future state. And then this Reshimo becomes my actual state, my next degree.

The Reshimo contains all the information about one’s future state. However, a person does not have enough Light or force to realize it. Kabbalah was given to us in order to attract this force sooner and to thereby accelerate the speed of our spiritual development. One way or another, everyone will reach their full correction. However, it can happen either:

1. Coercively, through suffering such as crises and wars, the way the whole world is doing today, or
2. Willingly, voluntarily, pleasantly, and at an accelerated pace – which is what Kabbalah proposes.

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Questions I received on vegetarianism, antidepressants, and lifting curses:

Question: Is it worthwhile taking antidepressants? What if a man is 36 years old, he doesn’t know what path he’s on, isn’t married or dating, doesn’t know what to do with his life, what kind of job to look for, and just feels totally confused - what should he do? What does Kabbalah say about this?

My Answer: The only question Kabbalah answers is, “What is the meaning of my life?” and not one’s mundane concerns!

Question: I recently discovered that a curse has been put on my close relatives. I don’t know whether to believe it or not, but either way, it’s pretty scary. How can I tell if this is really true and how can the the curse be lifted? I don’t know who to turn to, please help!

My Answer: We are all interconnected in one soul like cogwheels in a single mechanism. Hence, negative opinions and thoughts influence the person at whom they are directed. When the influence is stronger than usual, it is called “an evil eye,” “a curse,” and so on.

The only solution is to have the opposite influence - good thoughts and opinions. I am sure that the best protection from all the bad things is our lessons! By watching them you attract the Upper Light to yourself, and it leads you toward the goal. Its influence is of a higher order than any earthly influence! Desire a connection with the Creator, and take refuge in Him.

Question: What does Kabbalah say about vegetarianism? Is there any point in giving up on food and clothing made of animals?

My Answer: Everything in the world must be used sensibly.

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