In the News (from EurekAlert): “‘Life force’ linked to body’s ability to withstand stress” – Our ability to withstand stress-related, inflammatory diseases may be associated, not just with our race and sex, but with our personality as well, according to a study published in the July issue of the journal Brain, Behavior and Immunity. An emerging area of medical science examines the mind-body connection, and how personality and stress contribute to disease in the aging body. Long-term exposure to hormones released by the brains of people under stress, for instance, takes a toll on organs. The current study found that extroverts, and in particular those high “dispositional activity” or engagement in life, have dramatically lower levels of the inflammatory chemical interleukin 6.

My Comment: An inner act of kindness “from self to others” allows the body to get rid of harmful (physical, nervous, emotional, spiritual) symptoms and let go of them. It is beneficial to give and love!

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A question I received: You say that if a person has a natural inclination to help the needy, this is not the same as loving others. Can you please explain what “loving others” means then?

My Answer: “Love of others” is a special quality that comes to a person during the correct study of Kabbalah. This quality enables a person to sense the interdependence between everyone and the need to fulfill others through himself. It is similar to a lover who wants to fill the object of his desire.

“Love of others” begins from its opposite – the revelation of hatred, rejection and separation from others. This is how one first feels when he reveals his complete dependence on others. It is as though the faucet that dispenses the air you breathe is under someone else’s control. One reveals that he is completely and utterly dependent on the whole world, and everyone is dependent on his kind behavior toward them. He reveals that he is the only one who determines his state by having good or bad relationships with the world.

Every day, this sensation of dependence grows and one becomes more reliant on others in order to receive basic necessities such as water, bread, work and security. This is how the global, integral system is revealed to us, and we start seeing the Butterfly Effect in action. At the same time, we also reveal our hatred toward each other and that our egoism produces this hatred in all people of this world!

The image of utter interdependence among all people that is being revealed to a person makes him desire to “open the faucet” for everyone. And this is what “love of others” is.

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Hate for the fellow man is not expressed as the sensation of hate, but as the desire to use him for your own good. This is the feeling we have until we turn it into love – the desire to fill the other instead of myself.

My teacher Rabash used to say: You can picture yourself as a zero and your friend as a one, or you can see yourself as one and him as a zero. This depends on your desire – whether you desire to use him for your benefit, or to use yourself to benefit him.

To the extent that you desire to fulfill the other, the Light of bestowal and love will fulfill you.

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A question I received: If people learn to live in our world according to the law, “love your neighbor as yourself” and will defeat their egoism, then what will our world look like? After all, corrected souls do not return to this world.

My Answer: The entire corrected humanity will rise as one whole to the state of the World of Infinity.

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Two questions I received on love and relationships:

Question (from a woman): Why is it that before we find our match, we have to go through so much pain and disappointment?

My Answer: It is because you use the wrong criteria to look for a partner. Your spouse should be someone you understand, someone similar to you, with a similar upbringing and childhood, and you should remind him of his mother. Everything else will fall into place throughout the process of living together. Mostly it will happen when you forgive one another and compromise with each other.

Question: There is a couple starting out their relationship. Both study Kabbalah. They now have the opportunity to create the right connection between them. How should this occur? How can they aim their relationship toward the goal?

My Answer: Tune into the studies together, discuss them, and read articles together. This is what Rabash advised for couples.

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We have reached a state where it is essential for us to unite. However, we mustn’t unite in order for each one of us to feel better, but because by doing so, all of us together will feel better.

In the past, we were drawn to each other because of the benefits we received from collaboration. This is why we have developed a global connection among all the people in the world. We produce something in one part of the world, sell it in another part of the world, receive something else from a third part of the world, and all of this affects yet another part of the world. This is how people fulfill their egos, their individual desires to receive pleasure.

Now, however, it is time for us to switch from the egoistic connection between us to an altruistic one. We mustn’t do this in order to profit, but in order for everyone to benefit. We have to shift from a connection that’s “for the sake of receiving” to a connection “for the sake of giving.” We have to unite for the sake of the opportunity to bestow.

Of course, this sounds absolutely unrealistic, but Nature will oblige us to attain this kind of unification. Therefore, we will be better off if we take initiative and learn Nature’s law of universal bestowal and love. This law is a result of the fact that all of Nature is a single body. If we will, at the very least, begin to talk and think about this, then our thoughts will do all the work!

The science of Kabbalah explains that none of us has the power to attain spirituality on his own. Alone, we cannot attain and become filled with the quality of bestowal, and thereby acquire peace. Rather, we can only accomplish this by creating the proper connections between us. And to do this, we should understand that by reaching the correct kind of unification, each of us will receive all of the common force. And this is something that can only be accomplished through love.

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The more we repeat the phrase, “love your neighbor as yourself,” the less we understand it. It is written that this is the general rule, the law of all reality, and we must act according to it. And whoever thinks that individual parts of the universe do not observe it, is mistaken.

We observe this law because we have no other choice, since we live in one dimension, in one sphere. This law affects us, but we observe it unwillingly. The suffering we perceive is precisely this absence of desire to observe this law. This is how we feel the difference between the present state and the more advanced state.

If we pay attention to this, we will be able to discern the most important thing: that this law is mandatory for us. It affects us and we purposefully exist in a state that’s opposite to it, where we don’t want it. This is done in order for us to realize its importance, splendor and universality. We will then observe it willingly, with our free choice.

The fact is, we all serve the Creator (or Nature). However, some of us do it unwillingly, while others do it willingly and consciously.

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A question I received: How can love between people be a law if love is about a person’s feelings?

My Answer: Desire is the material of creation. Desire is a force – a force of attraction and a force of repulsion. There are laws in the world that are obvious, and we obey them involuntary. Other laws are still concealed from us, and thus we do not obey them yet. But if they do become revealed, it is best for us to learn them quickly and start obeying them.

What is “love” in our world? It’s when something awakens a feeling in me that I might get pleasure from it. I then aspire to this thing, to this spark of light. I want to get closer to this light and connect to it, so it will fulfill me. The pleasure can come from food, sex, family, money, power, or knowledge. But what do I really connect to? I connect to the spark of pleasure that enters my desire for pleasure. This is what “love” in our world is.

In Kabbalah, “love for your neighbor” does not mean that you like someone’s face, personality, or status, although this is exactly how people interpret love for one’s neighbor in our world. The latter is not love for him, but just a feeling of attraction to something that fulfills you.

True love is when you fulfill the desires of another as if they are your own. This means that you love your neighbor rather than yourself. It is when you work with and fulfill his desire. This is love for one’s neighbor.

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A question I received: There are people, groups, and organizations that see themselves as one whole and close to nature. They say they love each other, plants and animals. Is this “love your neighbor?”

My Answer: “Love your neighbor” is a law of Nature, a condition in the world around us. This condition is suddenly being revealed to us now because we have grown into it, similar to a child that grows up to be an adult and suddenly has to abide by the laws of the society.

Imagine that all the media channels suddenly announced that everyone has to follow the law of “love your neighbor” by the end of the year, and anyone that won’t be able to do this will be executed. This is not funny at all – this is the condition Nature has set for us. However, we are unable to see it.

So, what are we going to do? We have to learn how to attain “love for your neighbor.” We must find out what this law means, what Nature wants from us. We cannot avoid this law – we must learn it. But how?

Through studying. This is the only means that will enable people to understand that there is no place to run and the only solution is to be corrected by a special force of Nature. This special force influences a person who desires to be corrected, to attain the degree of “love your neighbor.”

It is like a wave or frequency among billions of frequencies, and you will perceive it only if you desire it. Nature requires you to tune in to the frequency where you will feel that the only thing you want is to love your neighbor! Then this force of Nature will come and correct you.

All other attempts will lead us to a crisis, in order for us to find this path to the goal. Other directions are gradually dwindling all around us. This is called the “Egyptian plagues,” and they will eventually make us see that there is no other choice. When we find ourselves in total darkness, we will be willing and eager to run away and attain just one thing – “love your neighbor.” Where did the people run to from Egypt? Only to love, as evidenced by the unity that later took place by Mount Sinai.

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Questions I received about loving one’s neighbor:

Question: You say that it is possible to love others as you love yourself. I want this very much. Please tell me, is there someone who could pray for his friend with all his heart, so that the friend would love his friend as a mother loves her son?

My Answer: This has to be your own prayer, because your request – provided it is complete – will surely evoke the Upper Light, which will correct you and give you this quality.

Question: We know how to “love” for the purpose of receiving love in return. But what is it to “love your neighbor as yourself?” How is this love different from the egoistic “love?” We do not know this “Supreme Love.” How are we supposed to implement it in our daily life?

My Answer: The study of Kabbalah involves all the actions that attract the next, more advanced state (these actions include the studies, unification in the group, and dissemination). Otherwise we are pushed toward the same state by suffering. Our task is to aspire to this state before the suffering will push us from behind and make us aspire toward the next level just to avoid the suffering.

So, only the force that attracts us to the next state, called the Upper Light (Ohr Makif), is able to “explain” to us what is “genuine love” – love for someone other than yourself.

Question: What if my neighbor is not nice to me, and is mean? How do I rise above this and love my neighbor?

My Answer: You will do this for the sake of the Creator if He is more important to you than yourself. And this importance of the Creator has to come to you from your environment.

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