Our whole path is aimed at exiting our ego, the only collective attribute in which we exist and that locks us within this tiny ball of feeling the reality of this world. In order to start managing ourselves, we need another force in addition to our desire to enjoy: a desire to bestow. With these two forces we can already begin to operate.

This means that we lack the force of bestowal that comes from the general force, from the Creator, from the attribute of bestowal, which is the real nature. This is why the word “Creator” in Gematria is “nature” (in Hebrew). And our desire to enjoy does not exist in nature, but is external to it.

All our work and our goal is to achieve the desire to bestow. Thanks to this we are incorporated in the Creator, acquire freewill between these two forces, and can become similar to Him, which is called the human level: the level of Adam.

We can only reach the power of bestowal by the connection in the group, which is a model of how we should fulfill it. In the group we feel how much we need bestowal, or the opposite, how unnecessary it is to us and how hateful it is, since it is opposite from our nature.

Thus we begin to work artificially and cry out like children who demand things they do not deserve. But children use our parental love and we still concede and do what they want although we know it is just childish whining.

It is exactly the same with us. If we also ask for bestowal egoistically, although no one needs it, and “nag” the upper one with our crying: “Give it to us, give us!” like nagging children, we will eventually get it bit by bit and will gradually be impressed by it. In addition to that, we are impressed by our actions and by our acting that we want bestowal, and so eventually we really begin to want it.

Thus we are impressed by one another about the greatness of bestowal and spirituality, although we don’t really see anything good, great and valuable in the desire to bestow, but rather the opposite. This means that we are acting like in a theater, and by this acting we develop; we are in an intentional lie and it is clear to us that all our prayers are false and our attitude isn’t real either.

We are aware of that, we know it and we declare it openly because it is the only opportunity we have to get ourselves out of the state we are in now. By this acting, we build ourselves under the conditions of the current state in order to reach bestowal from the desire to enjoy.

The lever by which we can do that is based on a spiritual spark, the point in the heart, with which we can start acting. It is a tiny point in the heart, which we perceive and start developing. If we perceive it like an end of a rope that was thrown to us, we can raise ourselves above our egoistic desire to the desire to bestow, like rising above the floor and penetrating the second floor through a tiny hole in the ceiling. Then with the help of this rope, we can pull our whole desire to enjoy, which fills all of the lower floor and gradually transfer it to the upper floor—rising from Malchut to Bina.

The spark that was inserted into us is a spark from Bina that fell upon us from the second floor through a hole in the ceiling. Through that hole we can move to the second floor and then pull our whole Malchut from there.

It should be clear to us that we are working with egoistic attributes. We are only playing with bestowal and don’t imagine that we are already righteous. If we still don’t know who we really are, we will undoubtedly know: The main thing is not to fear the truth.
[89372]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 9/7/12

Related Material:
Wanting Only To Bestow
The Spiritual Ascent Gym
Playing For The New Truth

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