Today we come to the question of “what is the meaning of my life?” and suddenly discover the wisdom of Kabbalah. We find it not because we wish to bestow or reach connection, love, and a common concern.

No. We come to it precisely through the question: “What is the meaning of my life? Why do I feel bad?! I want to have power over my life! I want to rise above it, grasp eternity and perfection of nature.” I want, want, want… We come to the wisdom of Kabbalah precisely through egoistic questions, and not by means of a delicate, sensitive soul. On the contrary, we are led by the desire to receive, to take control over our lives.

Thus, when we come to the wisdom of Kabbalah and begin listening to what it talks about, many don’t understand: “Why do we talk about love and unity? Where are we? Is this a kindergarten where we are taught to be good? Is this a society of idealists? What do they want? What are they talking about?!”

Or a person comes to Kabbalah through religion and also doesn’t understand what’s going on: “Who talks about love in religion? It’s true that there are a few similar nice phrases there, but in reality, it’s all about doing actions known to us from childhood.” Today, where is the basis of religions, which once spoke of love, connection among people, mutual help, and equality among everyone? For a long time, each of them talks about what is good for people who use religion for fulfilling their own egoistic needs.

It turns out that through thousands of years we completely forgot about and moved away from the opinion of people who felt the presence of the force of bestowal. We moved away from the basis of religions set thousands years ago, which also talked about the force of bestowal.

In addition to that, our ego got so developed that we don’t even think about that, and all our systems are directed toward earning more to be independent from others and moving away from them like they don’t exist. Everyone is ready to fill the house with servants and household appliances and stay independent from everyone instead of being with his family and close, loving, and supportive people.

Thus, when we come to the wisdom of Kabbalah, it’s extremely difficult to start listening to the words of love and connection. After all, we’re used to the fact that that’s how little kids are taught. We egoistically want them to be better protected and unharmed, and hence teach them not to harm others. We tell them: “You have to love the other, be his friend.” We see that while a person is still young and dependent on others, it’s worthwhile for him to be good and loving, and then everyone loves him as well.

But as children grow, we tell them: “You have to win, be higher than everyone else! Show your strength and your power and you’ll be big!” We begin encouraging the ego inside of him instead of love. Our education is opposite to love.

So it turns out that we are led to Kabbalah by over-satiated and hence suffering egoism.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/13/2011, Writings of Rabash

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