Two questions I received on handling relationships

Question: What do I need to do to stop seeing only those things that separate me from other people? It is difficult for me to see the good deeds that people do; I get stuck on their bad deeds, even though I realize that this disconnects me from my friends in the group. I must mention that this mainly happens in relation to men, including my husband. Even though this also happens with women, but when it comes to women I manage to find balance. What should I do?

Question: In one of your talks about relationships, you said that when a couple has a disagreement about something, the best thing to do is keep quiet and not argue, and this silence will lead to a new understanding of one another and a new level in your relationship. You will also set an example for your partner. Can you please talk about this some more? This is a sore spot in my relationship, and I think that there are many couples going through this.

My Answer: Staying silent in an argument, compromising, causes your partner to react in the same way. Compromising leads to union and understanding, an understanding that we need to unite over our egoism. In such a way, we develop respect for one another, even for each other’s weaknesses, and understanding of each other’s nature, and this, in turn, leads to love, regardless of the obvious uncorrected properties of each partner. It says in King David’s Psalms: “Love covers all sins!” That is, the sins still remain, but the two of you learn to rise over them and unite there.

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